Are you bored of the sanitary nature of Heaven? Scared of the firey pains of hell? Unsure about reincarnation? Looking for an afterlife to suit your own personal needs? Then why not try Wes' Rockin Underworld?
At Wes' Rockin' Underworld, you're the boss. If you want a fancy white cloud with a set of wings, we can set you up with that. If you want a more seedy afterlife, but without the painful fires of Hades, we can arrange it for you. And if we don't have what you're looking for, we'll order out! At Wes' Rockin Underworld, we don't decide your afterlife, you do!
Unsure about how you want to spend your afterlife? Our trained professional staff can assist you in your personal afterlifestyle choice. Remember, this is eternity... best to get it right the first time.
For the low low price of one Soul (and $639.95 billed to your Visa the day you die), you will receive an eternal contract wherein your Soul is made the exclusive property of Wes' Rockin Underworld. By doing this, you ensure that neither Jehovah, Zeus, Satan, Odin, or the Great Abyss of Nothingness are legally entitled to your Eternal Soul. Furthermore, you will be able to send us exact specifications for your afterlife, so that our Metadimensional Engineers can sculpt the perfect Afterlife Reality for you!
Just fill out the handy form, and mail it in to Wes, or send e-mail to wes@deadtroll.com. It really is that simple.
Visa # Exp. Date:
My Afterlife Instructions:
Wes' Rockin Underworld is not a legal company. It exists only in the collective consciousness of cyberspace and any other dimensions as yet uncharted. If you do not get the joke, just try to forget you were ever here.