April 1, 2003
Wes Borg, maker of mid to low-level jokes, has been purchased for an undisclosed sum by Microsoft Corp., Chairman Steve Balmer reported today.
"We're very pleased with this aquisition, and look forward to developing exciting relationships with Wes Borg's current customers. We promise not to change Wes Borg too much, but we are looking at restructuring him to make him faster, funnier, and less annoying."
Wes Borg, the C.E.O. of Wes Borg, also put out a simultaneous press release, stating that "This is an exciting time to be Wes Borg, and I look forward to many years of profitable partnership with Microsoft."
In a related story, three hours later, Microsoft announced the cancellation of Wes Borg, citing unprofitability and lack of interest in the product. Wes Borg will be dismantled, erased, and discarded as soon as possible.