Privacy Policy

Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie ("Baggie" is apparently a registered trademark of Colgate-Palmolive, and is not used with their specific permission, but we did ask them if it was ok once, and they didn't seem to mind... there might be some paperwork somewhere... I'd have to look... but I probably won't), a not-properly-registered Canadian comedy troupe would like you to know that we don't give a tinker's damn about your precious "privacy", and would sell your ass to whatever pornographic spam email campaign coughed up enough dough to make it worth our while to figure out how to transfer the bloody database into tab-delineated text.

Having said that, we encourage you to lie, obfuscate, and withhold any information that you don't want public. We don't give a shit if you call yourself "Rusty Shackleford" or "Zothar Monkeyfart", as long as your email address works, we'll send you some comedy. Fortunately for you, no one has offered us a single red cent for your "private information", so you're probably safe; but one day hackers may steal the database, thus copying your "electronic soul" onto their foul hard-drives, and then encourage you to increase your penis size or refinance your mortgage. But even if that happens, and your "digital persona" is copied by nefarious spam-masters, BIG DEAL. Hit delete already, crybaby.

Clicking "Agree" signifies that you bequeath all wordly possessions and your eternal soul to the Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie family of fine companies, a subsidiary of Zothar Weapons Defense Systems and Baby Food.

If this privacy policy does not comply with the laws of your state or country, please turn yourself in to the local authorities along with proof of infraction and three cream-filled apple fritters.